It is with the absolute heaviest of hearts that I write this article.
My mentor, my hero, my amazing father, Robert Flower, has passed, and it is truly a loss without an equal in measure. Though I am a fiercely private person, I feel compelled to share this tremendous sorrow with you all, not for pity (I am absolutely the antithesis of the pity type), but because he was the most extraordinary man, and I am certain my writing of him will inspire you. (Seeing as I am a workaholic, I also feel the need to explain to my readers that this is why I have missed my last two weekly articles… After all, I’ve never missed a week since I started writing my Substack two years ago).
To be honest, it was a great shock to lose my father. Though he had some health challenges, that was actually old hat for him. Chump change. We’re talking about a man that stared down death many times throughout his life, and always came through. Always. He saw disease as a nuisance, not a threat. He was diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia when I was a very young teenager. Back then, the doctors explained to us that it had no known cure, and they gave him, at absolute best, 15 years to live. Most people would have taken that as a death sentence. Not him. Saying that to my father wasn’t a death sentence, it was a challenge. And guess what, he blew through their estimated 15 years… he more than doubled it, and lived for another 35 years! Furthermore, that rare leukemia wasn’t even the ultimate cause of his passing. It is so aprapos for my father.
This incredible man was larger than life. He didn’t just live those last 35 years, he excelled and prospered. An entrepreneur of the most impressive kind, a man who had an insatiable thirst for knowledge, he built his fortune in real estate, yet simultaneously pursued his passion of helping others reach their potential. A Mensa scholar, my father authored several books, lectured before the United Nations, taught as an adjunct at colleges, including the United States Military Academy (West Point), and so much more… I can’t possibly list all of his accomplishments in this article. His curriculum vitae is literally pages long. A self-made man whose father died unexpectedly when my father was 16, leaving him as the oldest of 4 boys, my father helped his mother run the family business (a funeral home) for several years, but only until his younger brother could take over. At that point, my father left, with only a high school education (he later put himself through college and also got his PhD while working and raising my siblings and me) and just a few bucks in his pocket, he went and built his own fortune… the old fashioned way, by setting goals, and then working his tail off until he reached those goals. Did he stop and sit back on his laurels once achieved? Nope. He set new ones and started chasing those.
My father never viewed himself as a “cancer patient,” nor did he allow others to. In fact, most people (even many of our friends) had no idea he had leukemia. He was extremely private about it, and never let people see him suffer or struggle with it when he would fall out of remission. In all that time, literally decades, he never, ever (not even once) complained. He saw that disease not as a formidable opponent that could threaten his very existence, but instead as a petty nuisance that he had to knock into remission so he could resume his life and keep achieving! Time and again, that’s just what he did… knock it into remission whenever it reared its ugly head. And in the end, it wasn’t even that leukemia that caused him to draw his last breath.
A stronger man I will never know. A wiser man I will never know. He was by far my biggest critic, and yet, simultaneously my loudest cheerleader. I am who I am, and what I am today, because of my father. He pushed me to do more, to be better. Whether with my successful figure skating career that spanned my childhood, or my work as a lawyer, he would never let me gloat or rest on my laurels. Never. Perfect example was when I won the epic quarantine camp lawsuit against Governor Hochul a couple of years ago, my father was thrilled. “Great job, Bobbie Anne! I’m proud of you.” And in the very next breath, “You’ve got one big one under your belt. Now, go for an even bigger one. What’s next?” (My “next one” was the ERA lawsuit that we recently won against the corrupt Albany politicians, to knock the infamous Proposition 1 off the November ballot).
Though he loved his work, and helping others, nothing compared to his love for us, his family. My amazing mother was the love of his life, and he was hers. Married 55 years this month. It was one of the last things he said to me… “Tell mom that I love her.” His loss is simply too fresh and raw for me to properly eulogize my father here, so instead I will post below an article I wrote about him one year ago. It exemplifies well who he is, and the bond we shared.
The Four Great Restrictors
What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?
Jun 26, 2023
My office is not really a typical lawyer’s office. My walls are not adorned with framed certificates of honors or awards I have received over the past 25 years, nor do I have my college or law school diplomas displayed for the public to peruse. If I had to find them, I’d guess they are probably in the credenza by my desk, though I’m not exactly sure. No photos of me posing with famous people that I have known hang on my walls. Instead, I have a framed replica of our Constitution, one photo of me with my family atop Hitler’s Eagle’s Nest in Berchtesgaden, Germany, and a lone plaque. The plaque is small. You’d miss it if you weren’t actually looking for it. In fact, it’s not even on my wall, but instead sits on my desk. It is small, but mighty. It reads…
What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?
Ahhhh. More profound words have never been spoken. It is fitting that the person who gave me that plaque is the wisest man I know. Someone who has not only inspired me to do great things in my life, but who has taught me how to think critically, and has encouraged me to push myself to be extraordinary. I have referenced him in my writings before, but never by name, only as “the wisest man I know.” After reading my prior entries about him, some of you have asked me who that person is… He is, my father.
One day I’ll share his story with you, as it is a profoundly inspiring one, and you know how I aim to inspire people. For now, I’ll just say that he is the embodiment of the American dream. From very meager means (at one point for a period of time, he was so poor he would eat a 10¢ candy bar as his dinner each night because that’s all he could afford), the first in his family to get a college degree (which took him several years because he worked days to pay for school at night), he went from rags to riches the old fashioned way… he busted his rump and earned it. And what makes him even more extraordinary is the fact that he wants everyone to succeed. He has amazingly enough written 11 books, (yes, eleven!) each of which was written to inspire us to reach our full potential. To him, the greatest failure in life is to live your life and never reach your potential. I agree.
One of the stalwart principles of how to reach one’s potential that my father always talks (and writes) about, is to acknowledge and then overcome what he calls the “four restrictors.” These are things that keep us from doing what we could and should be doing. Things that keep us trapped. Things that do not let us reach our potential. They are…
Fear, Ego, Ignorance, and Self Deception. Fear is number one. It’s a very powerful inhibitor, isn’t it? If you fear something, or someone, you will cower and succumb. But if you face your fear, stare it in the eye, you become empowered. Even if you don’t defeat it the first time around, you garner the courage to stand up to it again. Think about it. Relate it to something in your life. I know it has proven true for me in my life. When I am struggling with something, though invisible to others, my father sees it, and asks me point blank, “What are you afraid of, Bobbie Anne?” That triggers me to stop and analyze the situation. And what I often realize is that what I fear stems from one of the other three restrictors (Ego, Ignorance and Self Deception). Do I fear failure? Well, isn’t that a direct result of ego?
Putting it into a real-life context, I will share with you what I briefly discussed with host Jan Jekeilek when he interviewed me on American Thought Leaders after my historic win against New York’s Governor, Kathy Hochul, and her Department of Health over their Isolation and Quarantine Procedures regulation. When Jan asked me to describe what it was like to leave the comfort of my successful 20+ year law practice in the world of Real Estate Tax Certiorari and dive head first, with absolutely no support, into the world of Constitutional Law, to go up against one of the most radical, and powerful left-wing state governments in our nation, I had to admit that it was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. It took a courage that I didn’t know I had, especially because I didn’t even want to be the lead attorney to sue New York’s governor and her Department of Health! The story goes, that I had reached out to dozens of colleagues, and even civil rights attorneys and organizations that I had only heard of but never spoken to before, and I asked them if they would take up the case. Of course I offered to help them if they needed or wanted the help, but not one of them was interested in the case. A common question I get when I tell this story is, why didn’t any other attorneys want to take the case? Some didn’t want to work for free (I’ve been handling the case pro bono since day one), some didn’t think my legal theory was valid, and some told me point blank that I would not only fail, but I would surely lose my rather successful law practice that I had spent over 20 years building up, if I took on that quarantine case against the Governor.
What a conundrum.
I kept staring at that plaque on my desk. “What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?” The quarantine regulation was horrendous… allowing unelected agency bureaucrats in the Health Department to pull people out of their homes with no proof they were sick, for an arbitrary, indefinite amount of time, at a location of the department’s choosing, with no way for you to get out once you were locked in quarantine! Someone had to stop this unbelievably totalitarian regulation. Here came one of those conversations with my father. It went something like this:
Me: “I have a situation here, Dad. It’s rather grave.” (I tell him about the regulation and how I cannot find any other attorneys or organizations to take the case, or to assist me).
My father: “Why don’t you just handle the case yourself?”
Me: “I’ve never handled a Constitutional Law case. It will take a ton of research, time, resources, etc, if I have to do it alone…”
My father: “So? You can handle it.” Thinking of the four great restrictors… “What are you afraid of, Bobbie Anne?”
Any fear I harbored was overshadowed by my determination to STOP the tyranny that was embodied in that regulation, especially after the insane government overreach we had all just experienced for two solid years, in the name of COVID19. Someone had to stop that quarantine regulation. I said to myself, I guess that someone is going to be me. So I put my thriving law practice to the side, and I dove in. After the lawsuit was finally ready to go, I had to find plaintiffs - a task more challenging than I originally thought it would be. It took me weeks, but I finally found them - heroes in my opinion… Senator George Borrello, Assemblyman Chris Tague, and (now) Congressman Mike Lawler, with terrific support in an Amicus Brief filed by Assemblymen Andy Goodell, Joe Giglio and Will Barclay. We sued. And we won! Of course now the Governor is shamefully appealing (using your tax dollars to fight me to try to get back a completely unconsitutional regulation that has no business existing in this country, no matter which state). You can read about the appeal here, and for the latest update on this case, click here.
My point in all of this is, take my story as an inspiration to examine those four restrictors in your life, and see what you can do about overcoming them. See how the powerful words of the wisest man I know can help you reach your potential. As for me, have I reached my full potential? Nah, not even close yet. There’s much more to come!
Continuing On…
I will not get too personal in closing, except to say that we were all with him to the end, and I made him a promise: His legacy would never be lost or forgotten, as I would carry on and live a meaningful, aspirational life for him. Truly, I am blessed to be his daughter. All my accomplishments, past, present and future, are in his honor. My work to uphold and defend our Constitution and our rights (through my lawsuits, public speaking, writing, lecturing, etc.), the vast majority of which I do pro bono, is exemplary of a trait I inherited from my father… his burning desire to help others.
You can learn more about my amazing father by checking out his Natural Intelligence website. More on his books, here.
To all those of you who still have your father here with you, cherish him. To all of the dads, and most especially to mine now in heaven, Happy Father’s Day.
Rumi wrote, “Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because, for those who love with heart and soul, there is no such thing as separation.”
Dear Bobbie Anne —
My heartfelt condolences on the passing of your extraordinary father, mentor and trusted friend. His brilliant light will continue to shine through you, and through the many people who were fortunate to have had his assistance, love and friendship in their lives.
Thank you for the moving and heartfelt In Memoriam of the amazing, exemplary man you were fortunate to have had as a father.
“What you leave behind is not engraved in monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.” — Pericles
I’m sorry for your loss Bobby. It’s a sad Father’s Day. Today I learned that a friend in Ukraine just lost the baby they were looking forward to bringing into the world. It is amazing empty Father’s Day for him. Last night I learned my oldest son was found dead yesterday after obviously being dead several days. I never got to say goodbye. It’s a sad Father’s Day for many of us. A wise person told me today to cherish the memories. So that is what I will say to you, Bobby. Cherish those lovely memories! Lew